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General Discussion / Working for Mr Smith (poem)
« Last post by WannaQuit on Aug 23 - 2017 »
I write poetry sometimes; wrote this one at work. Hope you guys like it, I didn't dare post it anywhere else.

I've worked here for five years
Angry customers abound
Many times staff are in tears
No fun can ever be found
The boss keeps laying down law
No TVs, no phones, no swearing
I don't think we can take much more
And customers aren't returning
The beer is sent back to us
Because its simply sh*t
Oops, forgot, I shouldn't cuss
But it's not swearing is it?
Interviews for someone new
Another one's jumped ship
If only the poor bugger knew
The money isn't worth the trip
Chanting every single day
The same rules once again
There's nothing else we can say
Except maybe 'Is it Sovereign?'
So no, you can't watch that here
Swear again and you're done
There is not a cheaper beer
Even if you show us one.
We'll bar you on a whim
It's not our rules its his
Don't shout at me, go call him
I want to call it quits.

Edited for grammar
32
A Customers Viewpoint / Re: Swearing landlady - Yewtree
« Last post by minsterman on Aug 23 - 2017 »
Can I assume then Chutney, that you are one of those individuals who are unable to have a conversation without the use of swear words?

 ?S?
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A Customers Viewpoint / Re: Swearing landlady - Yewtree
« Last post by Chutney on Aug 23 - 2017 »
Let's go the whole way. If you want to have a smoke or swear you have to stand out side why not add drink to the list! Then we can all sit around the fire in Humphrey's pub in total silence with the occasinal russle of a bag of plain cheese and onion chrisp to amuse us.
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The cask OBB in here last week was pretty bad. Vinegary. I wasn't sure whether to drink it or pour it on my chips.

Badly kept or too old or both.

OBB is the best pint ever when it's right, and also the worst when it's not.

Once they get into the downward spiral, sour beer, so less folk drink it. I can see keg on the horizon.
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 :()
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The cask OBB in here last week was pretty bad. Vinegary. I wasn't sure whether to drink it or pour it on my chips.
37
A Customers Viewpoint / Re: Swearing landlady - Yewtree
« Last post by dagenhamlad on Aug 22 - 2017 »
Personally, I find it helps to go outside for a swear break.

After a couple of pints speaking the Queen's English, I tend to just step outside for a minute or two and let off a volley of expletives. I try not to do it in the doorway, as I wouldn't want customers entering or leaving the establishment to be subjected to my second-hand blue air.

Once this has been dealt with, I am refreshed and relaxed, ready to enjoy my next pint of Extra Stout.
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General Discussion / Re: Checks
« Last post by OnTheDrink on Aug 21 - 2017 »
Simple question. Do Samuel Smiths check out for CCJ's ? :-\

I'd be very surprised if they have any unsatisfied CCJs. Most large companies have had judgements against them after disputes end up in court but it's only relevant if they don't pay. You can check here https://www.trustonline.org.uk/search-others
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Totally agree, was in a SS pub this afternoon and was disappointed the bar staff didn't do anything when faced with a customer who was a) having a conversation which starts it's me not you, b) drunk and c) started to get vocal with innocent customers.  Thankfully as this is large pub with plenty of rooms I was able to move.   Other customers on reading the no swearing policy couldn't understand why SS have it when they don't cater for the child market.  To me we know the rules, we have choices and if you want to swear go elsewhere....
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A Customers Viewpoint / Re: Swearing landlady - Yewtree
« Last post by Bozzy on Aug 18 - 2017 »
I know a landlord that owns/runs his own pub.

He has a strict no swearing policy, to the extent that a well known 60's singer came into his establishment and was swearing a lot.

The landlord took his glass off him, poured it down the sink and gave him his money back, and ordered him out of the pub.

The well known 60's "pop star" then tried the "do you know who I am", the landlord reply was, I do not care who you are, but you are now bared from using that language so go away and never come back.

I do get that well timed swearing has comedy value, but agree with this landlords policy.

I personally get sick and tired with chavs swearing in public places like this. So I actually support the Sam Smiths swearing policy.

To be clear, the example I am using above is a private owned pub, and has a serious roaring trade, so a no swearing policy works.



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